This is a test, it is only a test, if it was an actual emergency…

Blue is how I feel this morning, dissapointed in myself. Dissapointed that I let myself down, that I sabatoged myself, knowing that I was sabtoging myself when i was doing it, Damn me! I earned 82 on a spanish test. seems petty, dosent it? it does! thirty-four years of this type of thinking, it is not easy to change. I am working on it, i have to remember that life is 90% of what happens to me and 10% how I react to it. Ok! time to react: study harder, get help, refocus, ask for help…Time to take control, and stop sabatoging my progress, the little neglected boy is acting up again.

Ok, know i am feeling Mucho bettero! (bettero not actually a word in spanish “use at your own risk”) Chin up, back straight, chest out, optimisim. My thoughts are all over the place lately, refocus Joe. Eye on the prize, this is not just for you, but your daughter. Focus, step by step, live for today. Just for today. Count the small victories: got up this morning,(always a blessing), earned an 114% on 1st business test, (wow), on my way to a degree, daughter is healthy, sun is shining, I am in shcool.

Ok, i am focused, know what i need to do, put the plan in action.

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