Emotionally Corrupt

Frustration races through my viens like fire, it corrupts my thoughts, overpowers all rational thinking, I regress, act out, behave like a child who doesnt get his way, Frustration turns into Anger that can not and will not be directed outward, so inward it seeks me , it belittles me, demeans my soul, until it festers into self-destruction and tricks me into the hole of despair, self loathing, self…….hate, I am gasping for breath, for a few gulps of air, mentally, emotionally I suffocating myself, I am damned, I try squeeze a moment to interject a positive thought or two, to pull myself out of this abyss, the dark place, that swallowed my innocence, my childhood, my identity, my existence. I am Fighting it, but afraid, punching with all of my might, but shivering in fear, i am yanking the hair from its scowling head, I am stunned that its laughing at me, and shocked to see that it is I whom I fight, it is I who sabatoges my progress, I keep myself Hostage, to the anger directed inward. I start to understand, to relize, that I have a choice, a choice NOT to let Frustration turn to anger pointed inward

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One thought on “Emotionally Corrupt

  1. The emotionally corrupt entry spoke to me….Excellent writting here. I read this an actually feel the frustration and the struggle to keep from drowning in the past. wow….I wandered into this because i can not sleep. There has been turmoil in my home tonight and I feel drained but can’t sleep.
    Keep yourself on the surface….don’t go under the water..what i read, you are going to make it out of the darkness and find yourself on top….as long as you remember these words…..I’m worth it, I’ll never give up.”
    Unsure I can find my way back here so Good luck…..

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